There is a certain time of the year when village greens echo to the sound of happy children, the picnic takes over as the highest form of posh dining and Merrie England seems, for a brief period of time to be actually, genuinely merry!
Then something stirs in the nether regions of Kent and the peaceful summer in the Garden of England is disturbed ... by a fearsome group of armed men on horses, hell bent on causing mayhem and destruction. It can only be the return of the Knights of Royal England to Hever Castle

After three weekends of armed conflict and bad grammar the knights are fully into their stride and tensions have never been greater between the Reds and the Blues.
On the Blue side, Sir Sam of Castille, for all of his youth (or “Yoof” as he seems to insist!) is making definite dents in the armour of the more experienced Red knights. Sir Ashley of Hampshire is riding exceptionally well ... apart from when he gets knocked off. This, he insists is a minor detail and makes no difference to either his popularity or his scores (but then, this is a man who claims to have had a cuddle with the Queen and knocked out fourteen men in the Tavern last week, so what to believe?!) There is also the persistent issue of the rivalry at the blue end between the two main riders. So far Ashley has managed to remain as “Team Captain” mainly through hitting Sam when he’s not looking and bribing the King who he claims is “Daddy’s best friend anyway ...so there”!

At the Red end all is harmony between the experienced riders on that team... well apart from every five minutes when Sir Jasper starts shouting at anyone within a two mile radius (some things never change). Jasper, it has to be said has been in fighting form, he has irritated the King, beaten up several (younger!) members of the Blues and allegedly called the Queen herself a “Loser” for wearing a blue dress! The true source of his anger is that Sam of Castille has beaten him several times already this year ... and he HATES that!! Stephen of Porlock has become the man the Red supporters love and the Blue supporters love to (pretend) to hate. Following a sabbatical at a monastery where he did a foundation course in “Englishe Like How It Should be Writted” he has become something of a poet and insists on challenging his opponents in rhyming couplets (Actually they’re more like hastily made up limericks, but people seem to like them). This has confused most adversaries and all was going well for the bearded one until, sad to relate, he put his shoulder out waving to a lady in the crowd ... We wish the happy hairy one a swift recovery ... mainly from the scolding Lady Porlock will have given him!!

This is how things stand between the knights. The King is pleased, the Queen has been smiling a lot (and rumour has it that England shall have an heir ... watch this space) and I, Lord Anthony of Bolingbroke have only had to break up 15 brawls, an unruly game of draughts and stopped the Knight Marshall for the Reds (Mungo! ) from having a second shandy at a barbecue. All is well as we take a break for a week for the knights to go and take a rest at a spa for bewildered swordsmen at Blenheim Palace in Oxfordshire.

So join the fun again on the 26th -27th August and find out if the Reds can find their form once again.

We salute all of you who join us in this chivalrous mayhem and look forward to seeing you soon.

Yours Sincerely
Bolingbroke (Lord of the Joust)